Hi All! And welcome back. Many of you are at the beginning of your healing journey and hope is low – vision too. Today’s post is meant to give you hope, encouragement, and vision for a future with a healed heart.
Where did I start?
When I started out in counseling eight years ago, I did not know that I was not free. All I knew is that my heart hurt. Pain overwhelmed my reality. Being treated poorly was my reality, too. I could not seem to get away from people who easily and willfully put me down. Like getting sprayed with mud from a passing car on a rainy day, people easily dumped judgement and condemnation on me.
So, I entered counseling and started unloading. Counseling felt scary. The office played this soft music which only made me feel more weird and scared. I think they intended the music to be soothing. Regardless, my counselor broke my negative reality by asking questions about how my life might look if I did what I wanted to do instead of staying trapped by my dad’s demands. She listened and validated my experiences.
That was eight years ago. I remember thinking “I can do things I want to do,” but I had no ability to do it in reality. Over the years, I conformed my life to my dad’s rules. Now, years would be required to learn new habits based on what I wanted to do. I literally to years. Some days, I simply thought “I can do what I want” without taking any real steps.
Tools and techniques of my healing journey
Visualization is the technique which helped me form a new life. I started imagining what my life could be like. I allowed myself to feel and dream. At first, I simply let those dreams be good thoughts. I did not demand I get my dreams right away. Getting things I wanted was uncomfortable for me. I was used to conforming my life to someone else and simply following along. Now, I needed to lead my own life. I formed new habits such as steadiness and self-awareness.
Self-awareness is one of the best things you can do for yourself. It helped me understand my needs so that I could meet them. Because of self-awareness, I learned to parent myself. The parenting I never got, I gave to myself. I understand that sounds weird, yet think of it this way. We all talk to ourselves right? So, I used those voices to talk to myself in a loving manner – one that empathized with my emotions and one that told me the truth.
What am I able to do now?
Because I sought out healing, I got free from depression, negative thinking, self-doubt, shame, self-loathing, and feelings of worthlessness. I started a morning habit that makes me feel good and gives me energy for each day, and I pay attention to my needs, and I meet them. I can control self-pity. I no longer feel sorry for myself. When I suffer, I accept it and still have a joyful day. I do not always do a good job, but I am not falling into the old traps anymore.
Hope for your healing journey
You too can heal. I encourage you to build the same skills. Build self-awareness. Visualize what your future can look like. Then take steps to realize your goals. The more you know yourself, the better. Realize that God wants you to be aware of your needs and meet them in the best way possible. A heart committed to God is all he needs to help you build the skills and get where you need to go. There is hope for you to get free from the lies, and shame. There is hope for you to get free from the chains of your past and live in the present and enjoy it.
Seriously. Never give up. Be patient with your plans. Push until you get what you need.
~Leisel
